littlemissloud
3rd May 2005, 18:48
A van driver used to amuse himself by scaring the s*** out of every Glasgow Rangers fan he saw strutting down the road in his blue and white uniform. He would swerve as if to hit them, and at the last minute, swerve back onto the road. One day as he was driving along the road, he saw a priest hitch-hiking. He thought he would do his good deed for the day and offer the priest a lift. "Where are you going, Father?" he asked.
"I'm going to say Mass at St Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road," came the reply.
"No problem," said the driver, "Jump in and I'll give you a lift."
The happy priest climbed into the van and they set off down the road. Suddenly the driver caught site of a Rangers fan on the pavement, and instinctively swerved as if to hit him, but just in time, remembering the priest in his van, swerved back to the road again, narrowly missing the c***. Although he was certain that he didn't hit him, however, he still heard a loud "Thud". Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, and, seeing nothing, said to the priest, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Rangers Supporter walking down the road there."
"That's okay," replied the priest, "I got the ****er with the door!!"
A Celtic fan, Rangers fan and a Falkirk fan are lost in the woods together and spot a farm . The three of them approach the farm and knock on the door. A man answers.
"Do you have a room for the night? ", asks the Falkirk fan.
"Yes, I do but one of you will have to sleep with the pigs".
"Fine I will sleep with pigs", replies the Celtic fan. At 2:00 o'clock in the morning the Celtic fan appears at the door, "It is too smelly down there", says the Celtic fan.
"Fine then I will sleep with the pigs ", says the Falkirk fan. At 3:00 o'clock in the morning the Falkirk fan says " It's too smelly down there".
"Fine then I will go sleep with the pigs" says the Rangers fan . At 4:00 o'clock in the morning the pig appears at the door and says:
"It's too smelly down there!!"
Alex McLeish and Michael Mols in the pub and there is a cat sitting on the table. One man comes in, picks the cat up and looks under it.. Another man comes in and does the same. McLeish annoyed says the next man to do that I'm going to ask them why. So the next man comes in picks the cat up and looks under it. McLiesh says "Why did you just do that?". The man replies "A man outside told me that there's a cat in here with two arseholes!"
Following Rangers success in Scotland this season, they have decided to release videos, keyrings, replica shirts and even a new OXO-Cube as the attempt Europe. They have called this a "Laughing Stock".
"I'm going to say Mass at St Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road," came the reply.
"No problem," said the driver, "Jump in and I'll give you a lift."
The happy priest climbed into the van and they set off down the road. Suddenly the driver caught site of a Rangers fan on the pavement, and instinctively swerved as if to hit him, but just in time, remembering the priest in his van, swerved back to the road again, narrowly missing the c***. Although he was certain that he didn't hit him, however, he still heard a loud "Thud". Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, and, seeing nothing, said to the priest, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Rangers Supporter walking down the road there."
"That's okay," replied the priest, "I got the ****er with the door!!"
A Celtic fan, Rangers fan and a Falkirk fan are lost in the woods together and spot a farm . The three of them approach the farm and knock on the door. A man answers.
"Do you have a room for the night? ", asks the Falkirk fan.
"Yes, I do but one of you will have to sleep with the pigs".
"Fine I will sleep with pigs", replies the Celtic fan. At 2:00 o'clock in the morning the Celtic fan appears at the door, "It is too smelly down there", says the Celtic fan.
"Fine then I will sleep with the pigs ", says the Falkirk fan. At 3:00 o'clock in the morning the Falkirk fan says " It's too smelly down there".
"Fine then I will go sleep with the pigs" says the Rangers fan . At 4:00 o'clock in the morning the pig appears at the door and says:
"It's too smelly down there!!"
Alex McLeish and Michael Mols in the pub and there is a cat sitting on the table. One man comes in, picks the cat up and looks under it.. Another man comes in and does the same. McLeish annoyed says the next man to do that I'm going to ask them why. So the next man comes in picks the cat up and looks under it. McLiesh says "Why did you just do that?". The man replies "A man outside told me that there's a cat in here with two arseholes!"
Following Rangers success in Scotland this season, they have decided to release videos, keyrings, replica shirts and even a new OXO-Cube as the attempt Europe. They have called this a "Laughing Stock".