Clublife July 2006
Author: Derinda Fullerton
Date: 20 Aug 2006
Category: Derinda Fullerton - Clublife
CLUBLIFE JULY 2006-07-21
MATCHES
PLAYED: 0
STATE OF
Before I trot off
to
I would like to apologise to all the fixtures secretaries from other counties who have rung our house to arrange matches. I'm afraid you might have found yourselves speaking to the mad old woman we keep in the loft. I am actually incredibly charming and would never have screeched, "It's only June! I'm still recovering from last season!" down the phone.
On the same
subject, if you ring our house and my husband answers, put the phone down
immediately. He is thoroughly sick of
badminton and you are likely to get a slightly less warm response than a double
glazing salesman
I must now share my club's terrible news. Richard Alekna, star of our mixed and first mens team, and owner of the loveliest teeth in Worcestershire, has got to have a filling! I have lost count of the number of matches his teeth have won for us because, if Richard smiles as his opponent is serving, the brilliant light reflected off his gnashers invariably causes them to serve into the net. If you were to meet him, I expect you would notice his incredible likeness to the new Doctor Who.
My son is a massive Doctor Who fan, so you
can imagine how excited he was when we bumped into Richard in the library
recently. In fact, we asked him if he
would like to come home with us and play with our inflatable Dalek, but sadly
he didn't want to.
We have also had a
busy time looking for a new venue for our club as it turns out that Bromsgrove
is the most expensive place in
She was very sympathetic and wrote to the head of leisure services in
Bromsgrove on our behalf. They jumped up
and down and said we were telling fibs and in fact were so furious that when I
go into town nowadays I am forced to wear a false moustache and a sombrero for
my own safety.
A few weeks ago I
trotted off to the National Badminton Centre in
Now, if that was me, I would end every sentence I ever spoke with, "By the way, did I mention I used to coach Nathan Robertson?" I would probably also wear a T-shirt to that effect. But Peter was very interesting and modest. I am going to be as modest as that one day, when I stop showing off. He also mentioned that his daughter was national junior champion, but one day she announced that she didn't want to play badminton any more. And he said, "Okay"! What an incredible man!
If my daughter was national
champion and announced she didn't want to play any more, I am quite sure I
would:-
a. Cry for at least 2 weeks.
b. Offer to buy her a kitten/puppy/horse/parrot.
c. Threaten to put her in an orphanage.
But then I am
quite shallow
We held the trials for Worcestershire's junior county squad at the beginning of July. The hall we used is new and very smart although it is in a slightly rough area. We were expecting over a hundred children, so when we were due to kick off and half of them were missing we were getting concerned. It turned out that the sign to the college was hidden by an overgrown privet hedge. "That sounds like a job for me!" I thought and trotted out of the hall with a chair and a pair of scissors.
After I had given the hedge a nice short, back and sides, I realised why
the caretaker hadn't trimmed it. Just
under the name of the college, some delightful child had painted…"is
s**t". I quickly hid the evidence of my
handiwork and we haven't heard anything from the caretaker as yet
Right then, I must
go and pack my elasticated trousers, so bonne vacances to you all!
